One People One Planet

I really struggle to wrap my mind around the idea that in 2014, racial variety is still an issue that some people haven't accepted as just a part of human evolution. Humans come in different shapes and colors with varied languages and traditions. Whaaaaat?! Yeah. It's been that way for a long, loooong time. 

I hear racist comments on a regular basis from all sorts of people. All ages, both genders, many races. It's not just against people of African descent either, as is currently so prominent in our media coverage. It's happening against Native and aboriginal people, Asian people, Latin people, Indian and Arab people and on and on...Basically, anyone who isn't white. But then again, we Caucasians are judged too. By religion, class, career, zip code and everything else in between, even amongst other Caucasians. Why are some humans so unaccepting of one another? It's pretty simple. Fear of what is different than ourselves.

Here's the thing. How did all of our current nationalities come into existence? Interbreeding, of course. The world didn't just appear suddenly with perfectly settled cultures across the entire globe eating sushi and pizza and tacos. It took many thousands of years for each unique culture to develop. We are still developing gradually, as evolution doesn't just stop.

I grew up with a racist father who still makes racist comments on a regular basis. It took me over 30 years to ask him to please keep his hurtful comments to himself. The reality is that it's all he knows and he doesn't see it as racism.

I clearly remember the day my dad called me up to tell me that, to his horror, my younger sister had an African-American boyfriend. I first felt angry at him for the judgement and ignorance. But then I decided to just keep listening. He said "If whites and blacks keep having children together, eventually, in a few generations everyone on the planet will look like Obama!" I laughed to myself and then answered "That sounds great. Obama is pretty good-looking!"

There was silence on the other end.

That conversation was about 4 years ago. Again, a few months ago, he was ranting about mixed races in our family. I felt so furious that I raised my voice (which I very rarely do) and said to him "I want you to listen to me and listen very carefully. I love you, but I will never, EVER agree with the words that are coming out of your mouth. So please do not even bother wasting both of our time on this topic." It stuck for a while, but seems to have worn off recently. I'm once again getting chain emails forwarded to my inbox that are totally offensive to me.

I was recently reminded of a comment that my former step-son made when he was 5 years old (He's almost 12 now). His hair and eyes are dark and his skin is slightly olive colored, as his father is Caucasian and his mother was from Colombia. We were driving in the car and from the back seat he was telling me that he got along really well with a boy in his class and that they were best pals (the boy was East Indian). I told him that sounded really nice and asked why he thought they were such good friends. He answered "obviously... because we are both pretty much brown people." I laughed and told him that I was glad that he had so many friends of all skin colors. He said "it doesn't matter to me about anyone's skin. They're all my friends." Yes! Well said child!

In a perfectly timely manner to me writing this post, I spoke to my dad on the phone today for much longer than our usual quick "hello and goodbye". Sure enough, the topic he brought up was racism. He said that my sister was up in arms about this "whole Ferguson thing" and that he doesn't see what the big deal is. I said "Dad. This is the straw that broke the camel's back. It's not just about this one incident. It just took this one incident to tip the scales." 

A year ago, while traveling in the US of A, we went to a movie theater (which is a very rare occurrence) to see 12 Years A Slave. It devastated me. I could hardly watch. I was sick to my stomach. I felt deep sadness and anguish for many weeks afterward. This abuse is still happening in marginally milder ways. Segregation, judgement, verbal and physical violence, inequalities, mistrust, racial profiling and more judgement.

Since moving to Vancouver Island, I have felt deep disturbance after I learned more about how the Canadian government has pushed the First Nations tribes around for generations. Until recently, I didn't quite understand the depth of the pain and suffering that has been (and is being) inflicted upon our native brothers and sisters. 

Our friend, who is a First Nations elder, has been an amazing mentor to us both. He is making huge efforts to heal and strengthen the connections between his people and the paler brothers and sisters. He hosts sweat lodges in ceremony for all of us to give thanks to our ancestors who came before us to pave the way for us to live here together today. It brings all of us closer and helps to wash away the old pain and bring in new, fresh energy. 

It has been so wonderful to begin to learn more about who came before us and how we all have the power to shift human relations for the better. With love in our hearts, we must view each other as the equals that we are. We are all one race. The human race. Therefore, racism against anyone is racism against ourselves.

The Road Less Traveled

Writing what my heart tells me to isn't always easy. I often blog about things that feel iffy or risky to discuss. I wonder what some people might think about the topics. I wonder if anyone actually cares what I think and feel. I wonder who is even reading this? Then I remember why I started this blog in the first place...For me.  "This above all, to thine own self be true." Shakespeare was so wise. All that matters is that we are being true to ourselves. It sounds easy enough. However, it can come with some hefty challenges, as I continue to discover. 

I have let go of several dear friends since I started this blog a year and a half ago. Not everyone is ready to read the things that I write. Some have made that very clear to me. It saddens me to have to move forward without those people in my life. Fortunately for all of us, there are 8+ billion humans in the neighborhood and I continue to connect with many people who jump at the chance to discuss the topics that I write about. These are the people who I write to support, so they know they are not alone. The ones who know that we are living in a world based on many false realities, far beyond what many of our minds can comprehend. Those who know that we are all far more powerful and intelligent than we are led to believe. Those who follow their own path and fly their own flag, albeit lonely at times, to remain true to themselves and not conform to the insane normalities that we call society. 

I applaud you all for standing in your power. It's not always rainbows and butterflies. It can feel like trudging through quicksand or like standing alone at the top of a tall mountain, overlooking the world and wishing that everyone could stop for just a moment and see what's really happening. 

Everywhere I go, nearly every time I leave the house and go mingle with the world, I connect with people. Like light bulbs clicking on. Like two Lego blocks fitting together. It is so wonderful and I am so grateful to have this gift. I know that there are thousands, if not millions of us loving compassionate earth angels out there, flitting around sprinkling peace and love dust everywhere we go.

I also have dark moments of sadness, loneliness and frustration at times. It is then that I remind myself of all of you out there who continue down the road less traveled. We give our time, knowledge and gifts to the world, knowing that for someone, somewhere that it's making a big difference. Remaining unattached to the outcome is the secret. 

Nearly 10,000 views on this site now...

I love you. All of you. Yes, I do. 

On the Road to TRUTH

I feel excitement and uncertainty today as we pack up our few belongings and travel-prep the motorhome. The end of one chapter means the start of another, with the potential for much discovery and wonder. We are departing from Northern Alberta headed for the West Coast, where we will leave our cozy home on wheels to make a loop around the USA by car (providing the USA doesn't self-destruct before then, with this silly government chaos).  We are both gypsies at heart and we are always seeking more meaning and more truth in everyday life, regardless of where we are on the globe. 

Ultimately, this search is internal. No one else can show us the right way. No one else can complete the journey of life for us. We need to do this for ourselves. I remember the exact room I was standing in when I made this realization for myself in my mid-20's. I remember thinking that I had received a major key to the mysteries of life that day. I am so grateful. These keys aren't necessarily easy to grasp, but they sure are blessings if you 

string them all on a necklace and wear them everyday. I'm on the hunt for other keys that may help me to solve more of my own mysteries. 

One of the bittersweet challenges in life is leaving the amazing people behind along each leg of the journey. I have been touched by the open hearts and the longing for truth in so many whom I have crossed paths with in my 31 years. I often ponder how I can somehow bring the energy and essence of each of them with me along the heart trail. I find that photos and storytelling are good ways to keep the memories alive. Of course, with social media, everyone is only a "Like" away. I think we all leave behind pieces of ourselves and take snippets of others along with us on the journey, planting seeds of change in all of us. 

A couple of years ago, I realized that part of my life's purpose is to help others find their truths and remind people that we are all the same in spirit and in heart, in spite of our outward differences. For me, life is about encouraging people to speak their truths and to know that they aren't alone in how they think or feel. Over the next month (and maybe beyond that) we will be working on two new projects. One is about being positive and being connected with the greater global community, connecting with strangers and spreading good vibes. More to come...

The second is an idea that has been brewing in me over several months, and it will involve collecting voices on the topic of GMOs. That's all I will say for now. Oh boy!!! Can't wait to start on those...but right now, we must focus on the road ahead of us. Snow is looming in the mountain passes and the motorhome is a dry-road hog so we can't waste any time....

Warning: May cause you to love life.

This post is about cultivating a wonderful life, filled with love, meaning and connection.  It ended up being a bit lengthy, but these words are important to me.  The inspiration came to me during a sunshiny, summer chat with a wise elder who said "The grass will always be greener, if you choose to see it that way. Or you can focus on keeping your own grass greener each day." I thought about that statement and it occurred to me that many of us spend much of our time wanting what others have, wanting to be somewhere else or wishing we had a different life. 

YIKES!!!  How did we let ourselves get to this point?! What can we do to learn to love our life as it comes? I have a few ideas I would like to share. From what I have learned so far, a happy life takes a bit of effort and patience and understanding of human nature. By default, we are all the same at the core and we all need the same things to feel good about life. Try focusing on finishing old business and loving what you have. 

Several years ago, I attended a retreat on New Year's Eve. It was there that I first heard of a life-changing tool called Non-Violent Communication (NVC). My first reaction was "haha! I don't need that. I'm the most non-violent person I know!"  Think again. Simple words can do as much damage to the soul as a nuclear bomb.  Over the last few years, I have learned to rely on NVC every day to communicate better with the people around me. It has been a tool that has helped my life flow smoother and has strengthened many relationships with coworkers, family and friends. 

Challenge yourself to become a better communicator. There is no downside. It's free. All it takes is an open heart, an open mind and honesty. 

Here are the simple steps to communicate how you feel and let others (and yourself) know what you need. It can be used to show gratitude also. Very powerful stuff. Ok so here goes. 

Step 1: State the facts of the situation. No extra dramatic flare needed. Facts only. Keep it simple. No name calling or blaming. 

Step 2:  State how you feel about this. DO NOT use the words "you made me feel..." Or "it made me feel...."  You are the only one who made you feel it. Make that connection in your mind. (Feeling words: I FEEL- happy, sad, angry, afraid, excited, uncomfortable, embarrassed, grateful, etc. DO NOT use words that imply fault, such as disappointed, offended, annoyed, irritated etc.)

Step 3: Tell yourself and others what need(s) you have that are/aren't or weren't met in this situation. (Ex: needs for safety, love, peacefulness, quiet, inclusiveness, respect, friendship, community, freedom etc.)

Step 4: If you feel the need, make a kind request to another. A request might be something you want to do for another, or something you would like done for you. 

To get the whole picture, here is an example situation:

Mary made dinner. Joe didn't come home for dinner. Mary is angry. 

They can blame and point fingers and try to guilt each other and create a huge mess that will make their lives miserable...

or use NVC...

Mary: "Joe, I spent two hours cooking us a lovely dinner tonight, and I ate it by myself.  You didn't come home when you usually do for dinner. (Those are the facts.)

I'm feeling sad and angry about it. (That's how she feels.)

I have a need for clear communication and a need for appreciation for the things that I do. I also have a need for quality time with you. (Her needs). 

The next time that you have plans in the evening, would you please tell me ahead of time so that I can plan my time accordingly? I would really appreciate that." (Seems like a kind request to me.)

A key component here is non-attachment to the outcome. The other person(s) involved my not react the way you would like them to, but that is out of your control.  Do your part to speak from your heart and the rest is up to them. You will feel better about life knowing that you did what you could to enrich the situation. 

I was reading a book the other day and a passage jumped off the page. It was a statement from a Native elder. In a nutshell she said, do not carry the dead. Work out your own issues now. Not later, not tomorrow, now. Don't leave it up to someone else to help you like your life more. Do not give away the moments of today to the troubles of yesterday. At the end of the day, you're the only one who will be hurting from those negative thoughts and feelings inside. 

Whew. If that all seems overwhelming, its understandable. It might even been a bit scary while you are learning this new language of communication. Most of us have been communicating from our egos our whole lives. Send your ego (and its fears) on a one-way trip and open your heart. Practice. Practice. Practice. 

Another simple tool that I have been using for a number of years is to acknowledge the things that I am grateful for. It can be done at the dinner table before anyone takes a bite. Take a moment for each family member to say what they are thankful for from their day. 

Alternatively (or in addition), if you have a partner that you get to snuggle up with each night, take a moment to tell each other and the universe what you appreciated today. No partner? Say it out loud anyway! It is amazing how life will shift to the positive side when you begin to realize how fortunate you really are. Pour your energy into nurturing the flowers of life instead of constantly looking for the weeds. 

Lastly, pick one (or all) of these suuuuuper easy things: Smile. Hold a door for someone. Let someone know you're thinking of them. Share some homemade food. Give hugs. Let someone ahead of you in line. Buy a coffee for someone. Offer to lend a hand. Do these things with the intention of spreading good vibes. Have no expectations that you will ever be compensated for your kindness.

Life will love you back and that is reason enough. 

Extra tidbit:

My heart grew a few sizes today after watching this...

http://youtu.be/BOksW_NabEk