Can We Get Back to Basics?

A babbling brook flows lazily past us as we lounge in the humid August heat of rural Pennsylvania. 

The sycamore trees are incredibly tall and chunks of their bark are dropping all around making rustling sounds in the forest. The sprawling top limbs of the trees look all smooth and whitish, while the trunks remain gray and covered in bark. The first signs of autumn are showing as the occasional yellowed leaf flutters to the ground in the breeze.

We are spending another two weeks of fun and learning with my nephew. He's approaching 11 years old and would happily spend all day, every day in nature. He repeatedly requests to hang out at "a body of water". He brings his little net and hunts fish, frogs, crayfish and anything else that crawls or swims. (Like a carbon copy of myself when I was a wee kiddo.)

The last time I was here at this stream with Tanner, about 3 weeks ago, a woman appeared with her dog and she was wearing a black tank top with bold, white lettering that said "GO FOR IT". We said hello and told her we really liked her shirt. She said thanks, and said that she normally doesn't venture into the forest and to the stream alone, but today she decided to break out of her normal routine and go out adventuring solo with her pup. She said that shirt gave her the push to just do it. 

In our culture, most of us are taught to play it safe. Stick to what we know. Follow the formula that is already tried and true. Think inside the box. Don't venture outside what is comfortable and familiar. Fear the unknown. Blend in with the herd. Etc. Etc. 

Well, that's not how we have been living for the last 4 years (probably longer, really?) and we needed a reminder on that day to keep on keeping on being  ourselves. Her shirt was just perfect!

Interesting state motto. It was worth stopping for.

We had been feeling a bit frustrated about the lack of forward momentum in our realities and felt a bit confused about what our next step might be. 

We inquired about residency at the yoga ashram and never received a response. We both also applied for work there and no follow through came from that either. We found that all to be fairly bizarre and not to mention, quite unprofessional, so we finally decided that it was not our destination and it felt like an energy drain for us both to keep pushing. We aren't meant  to be a part of that organization right now and that is A-OK. When one door closes, we have to be awake enough to recognize the other doors when they open. 

I will speak for myself in saying that my trust and patience in the universe were really stretched to the supa-dupa max over the last month. I found myself wondering what the heck we were doing in this part of the world and where we could be headed, if not for there to continue studying yoga? New ideas and scenarios presented themselves, but each new trail of breadcrumbs kept leading us into a wall. Hmmmmm...

We have had a handful of mini-redirects from the adjustment bureau of the universe. One week, Tanner had a high fever and headache for several days, which was fairly limiting for him. Time for resting and resetting. In addition, our car has been acting funny on occasion, sending messages and warning lights that make no sense to us. Mechanics can't even seem to figure out that issue. At least she drives fine, inspite of that. 

My thoughtful younger sister gifted us birthday tickets to see Nahko and Medicine for the People on the waterfront in Boston a few weeks ago. That was quite an adventure. Apparently, marijuana is legal in Massachusetts now. I have never been in such a huge cloud of pot smoke in my life. MFTP were an opening act and there was also a reggae band from the Caribbean and they were encouraging the crowd to light up their weed, eh Mon. The music was great, as always, but the east coast crowd just didn't have the buzz and enthusiasm that the west coast crowd has for Nahko's messages. Hopefully soon their inspiring message spreads eastward. Optimism and unity are needed here (and everywhere) as far as I can tell. 

 We headed northwest to Vermont to visit our long-time pals in their new abode. We stayed for about 10 days. Tanner helped out with installing some new flooring and I mostly helped with cooking,  tidying and prepping some details for their upcoming wedding. 

Part of the intention of our mobile lifestyle has been about having the flexibility to support various family and friends in many locations and all stages of life. We are now approaching a point where we are just about ready to move on to a place where we can spend some time nurturing ourselves. What an idea! Constant travel and immersion into other people's worlds can take a toll on mind, diet, exercise and routines. Everyone needs a time out here and there to reset and rejuvenate.

Through our travels it has become more and more clear how our current societal model strives to train, direct and then trap each generation into striving for the "American / Canadian Dream".  (It's pretty much the same formula in both countries.) In general, it seems that most people that we know are less than happy and less than healthy. This is no accident. It's appears that it's all part of a master plan to create a society of cheap labor and mindless slavery to keep the wheels of growth and progress turning smoothly. Because after all, that's what really matters, right? Or does it? Someone is laughing behind the scenes of the grandest puppet show. Buy stuff, borrow money, work a lot, pay a lot, consume more, climb the success ladder, repeat. 

Who's idea was this anyway?! Why aren't we finding an alternative to the collective madness? Does anyone else feel like this is simply crazy?

Stress is so prevalent everywhere that it seems as though it's draping thickly over this part of the planet like a blanket of stupefying smog. Many folks are hardly keeping it together and barely making ends meet. When you aren't in it, it's very apparent. It's always easier to see from the outside looking in. You must step off of the wheel, even briefly, to see what I am seeing. It's not pretty.

Perhaps, I'm reflecting, just maybe, it's time to stop and question a few things? Such as: Why are we all here on earth in this amazing time of unmatched technology (and constant information influx) and how can we use it to our advantage? What do we actually need to live fulfilling and joyful lives? How can we begin to make that a reality? 

Best answer: We've gotta just get back to basics. It's time for a reality reset. It's the only thing that makes any sense right now. 

There seems to be too much fogginess, fluff and distraction for most of us to think and operate with any amount of consistent clarity. It's like a zombie nation everywhere we look. Smart phones and television. Alarmist news headlines and scare tactics. I feel like we are the weird ones most of the time because we are among the minority who are actually aware of the traps that most of our society has accepted. I feel so aware that it can be extremely lonely, frustrating and often deeply disturbing to try to communicate or make any progress with the rest of our brothers and sisters. 

Let's help each other to bust out of this insane pattern. It just doesn't have to be this way. It's not necessarily simple to make the changes, but with persistence, and baby steps, life can be better. We can choose to put time and effort into a joyful existence or we can put the same time and effort into maintaining a chaotic and exhausting existence. We each have choices.

The two of us have done some deep, deeeeep digging and we have concluded that it's time for us to share some of what we know in a retreat setting- away from familiar distractions and societal standards. We have thrown the idea around in the background for a couple of years and we are finally ready to GO FOR IT...

***Early 2018 in Mexico. Stay tuned for more details this fall. Mexico is calling. Can you hear it? It's sounds like coconuts and crashing waves. Mmmmmm.

I AM.

Whenever I have a creative lull and don't know what to write about in my next blog, the universe seems to throw me a bone. In this case, it came in the form of a documentary. I don't tend to watch many documentaries these days, because I went through a phase about 6 or 8 years ago where I watched so many films about the devastation of the planet and its wildlife, peak oil, GMOs, and natural disasters that I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. Not a healthy view on the world. I have since then turned to sharing what positive changes I think we can all make to emphasize the beauty of life.

So...I borrowed this one, which appeared to be uplifting, from our library and it was one of the best I have seen in a looooong time. 

Quick synopsis of I AM: a very wealthy Hollywood film director "has it all"- more money, properties and possessions than anyone could ever want or need. Then one day, he has a serious cycling accident that causes him to reflect on what's truly important. He embarks on a quest to answer the question "what's wrong with our world?!" And instead, discovers what's right with our world. It's uplifting and so beautiful. I recommend a movie night.

Be the change and spread the love is the message. We don't need stuff or tons of money or fancy clothes or cars or anything that can be essentially destroyed or taken away from us.  All of that stuff that we seem to accumulate is actually clogging up our minds and spirits and preventing us from seeing through the illusion and realizing that none of it matters at all.

Our love and spirit are what is real and carries on forever to future generations. It seems all to easy to live in our own little bubbles of self-serving actions. Let's work on expanding our bubbles to include the whole world, shall we? And...don't use the excuse "I just don't have time for _____ because I'm Sooooooo busy."  I used to use that one. Then I realized that I have a choice of how I spend every precious moment of every single day. So do you. Prioritize your life.

The next time you think you need a thing to improve your life and make you (temporarily) happy ask yourself if you would be equally as devastated if you were to lose that thing (such as a new car, fancy clothes or jewelry, toys, etc). Then maybe consider investing your money (in essence, your time and energy in the form of numbers) into making the world a better place for all of us. 

Selfless acts of service are one of the best things you can do for yourself and everyone else here on this magical planet. Send a fried an actual tangible piece of mail. Yup, that's still a real thing.

Volunteer. Babysit a friend's kids. Plant a garden for someone who isn't able. Purchase a house cleaning or meals for a new mom. Bring a sick friend some flowers and a hearty meal. Pick up litter. Plant some trees that you may not live to see bear fruit, but that coming generations will enjoy. Or Smile. Just smile. Smile at everyone. Even when you don't feel like it. What do you have to lose? 

Are you doing something (even tiny) every single day to raise the level of love in our world?

Warning: May cause you to love life.

This post is about cultivating a wonderful life, filled with love, meaning and connection.  It ended up being a bit lengthy, but these words are important to me.  The inspiration came to me during a sunshiny, summer chat with a wise elder who said "The grass will always be greener, if you choose to see it that way. Or you can focus on keeping your own grass greener each day." I thought about that statement and it occurred to me that many of us spend much of our time wanting what others have, wanting to be somewhere else or wishing we had a different life. 

YIKES!!!  How did we let ourselves get to this point?! What can we do to learn to love our life as it comes? I have a few ideas I would like to share. From what I have learned so far, a happy life takes a bit of effort and patience and understanding of human nature. By default, we are all the same at the core and we all need the same things to feel good about life. Try focusing on finishing old business and loving what you have. 

Several years ago, I attended a retreat on New Year's Eve. It was there that I first heard of a life-changing tool called Non-Violent Communication (NVC). My first reaction was "haha! I don't need that. I'm the most non-violent person I know!"  Think again. Simple words can do as much damage to the soul as a nuclear bomb.  Over the last few years, I have learned to rely on NVC every day to communicate better with the people around me. It has been a tool that has helped my life flow smoother and has strengthened many relationships with coworkers, family and friends. 

Challenge yourself to become a better communicator. There is no downside. It's free. All it takes is an open heart, an open mind and honesty. 

Here are the simple steps to communicate how you feel and let others (and yourself) know what you need. It can be used to show gratitude also. Very powerful stuff. Ok so here goes. 

Step 1: State the facts of the situation. No extra dramatic flare needed. Facts only. Keep it simple. No name calling or blaming. 

Step 2:  State how you feel about this. DO NOT use the words "you made me feel..." Or "it made me feel...."  You are the only one who made you feel it. Make that connection in your mind. (Feeling words: I FEEL- happy, sad, angry, afraid, excited, uncomfortable, embarrassed, grateful, etc. DO NOT use words that imply fault, such as disappointed, offended, annoyed, irritated etc.)

Step 3: Tell yourself and others what need(s) you have that are/aren't or weren't met in this situation. (Ex: needs for safety, love, peacefulness, quiet, inclusiveness, respect, friendship, community, freedom etc.)

Step 4: If you feel the need, make a kind request to another. A request might be something you want to do for another, or something you would like done for you. 

To get the whole picture, here is an example situation:

Mary made dinner. Joe didn't come home for dinner. Mary is angry. 

They can blame and point fingers and try to guilt each other and create a huge mess that will make their lives miserable...

or use NVC...

Mary: "Joe, I spent two hours cooking us a lovely dinner tonight, and I ate it by myself.  You didn't come home when you usually do for dinner. (Those are the facts.)

I'm feeling sad and angry about it. (That's how she feels.)

I have a need for clear communication and a need for appreciation for the things that I do. I also have a need for quality time with you. (Her needs). 

The next time that you have plans in the evening, would you please tell me ahead of time so that I can plan my time accordingly? I would really appreciate that." (Seems like a kind request to me.)

A key component here is non-attachment to the outcome. The other person(s) involved my not react the way you would like them to, but that is out of your control.  Do your part to speak from your heart and the rest is up to them. You will feel better about life knowing that you did what you could to enrich the situation. 

I was reading a book the other day and a passage jumped off the page. It was a statement from a Native elder. In a nutshell she said, do not carry the dead. Work out your own issues now. Not later, not tomorrow, now. Don't leave it up to someone else to help you like your life more. Do not give away the moments of today to the troubles of yesterday. At the end of the day, you're the only one who will be hurting from those negative thoughts and feelings inside. 

Whew. If that all seems overwhelming, its understandable. It might even been a bit scary while you are learning this new language of communication. Most of us have been communicating from our egos our whole lives. Send your ego (and its fears) on a one-way trip and open your heart. Practice. Practice. Practice. 

Another simple tool that I have been using for a number of years is to acknowledge the things that I am grateful for. It can be done at the dinner table before anyone takes a bite. Take a moment for each family member to say what they are thankful for from their day. 

Alternatively (or in addition), if you have a partner that you get to snuggle up with each night, take a moment to tell each other and the universe what you appreciated today. No partner? Say it out loud anyway! It is amazing how life will shift to the positive side when you begin to realize how fortunate you really are. Pour your energy into nurturing the flowers of life instead of constantly looking for the weeds. 

Lastly, pick one (or all) of these suuuuuper easy things: Smile. Hold a door for someone. Let someone know you're thinking of them. Share some homemade food. Give hugs. Let someone ahead of you in line. Buy a coffee for someone. Offer to lend a hand. Do these things with the intention of spreading good vibes. Have no expectations that you will ever be compensated for your kindness.

Life will love you back and that is reason enough. 

Extra tidbit:

My heart grew a few sizes today after watching this...

http://youtu.be/BOksW_NabEk