Naked Living: Saying Goodbye to Our Old Stuff

Take a moment to imagine this scenario: You have eliminated all emotional bandaids from your existence. You are no longer avoiding real life or distracting yourself from feeling your emotions. Wow. Whoa. Wait a minute here. I don't do that, you might say. Well, let's take a closer peek, shall we?

What might this new life look like?

Probably something like this:

No more relax-me alcohol. (Yes, this includes wine and craft beers.)

No more soothing cigarettes.

No more junk/comfort food. (Even the organic and/or gluten-free kind.)

No more pick-me-up daily coffees. (Even the organic and Fair Trade kind.)

No more recreational drugs. (Even the organic, homegrown kind.

No more prescription drugs. (There are definitely alternatives to nearly all of them.)

No more television. Get rid of that thing!

No more video games. (Including apps.)

No more overly-obsessive activities. (Exercise, sex, work, shopping...and on and on.)

No more self-sabotage. Tough one.

No more drag-you-down hold-you-back relationships. 

(No. More. Facebook? I'm still working on minimizing that one...and keeping myself limited and to the point when I am on there!)

Boring, right?! 

But just wait...

This new life might also look something like this:

Just feeling happy. Even joyful!

Lots of amazing friends!

Socializing as yourself. Just plain old you. No more masks.

A clear and healthy mind.

Just facing your issues. Then forgiving everyone involved. Including yourself.

A clean, strong, and well-functioning body.

Communicating your needs and feelings clearly.

A strong sense of spirituality.

Pleasant (or even awesome) relations with family members. 

Time to prepare amazing, nourishing, healthy food.

A loving and supportive partner. (If you desire to meet one.)

Lots of time in nature.

Time to partake in your passions and follow your heart.

This is a lot like what our lives look like right now. It may sound boring to some but to us, it feels anything but that. It feels like a gigantic blessing. Everysingleday. You can live this way. Just make the choice. It's all in your hands. No more excuses.

How and why did I choose this way of living? 

Mostly out of self love and respect, I believe. Also, I have a strong desire to love others the same way that I love myself. To accept people for who they truly are underneath it all. Beautiful spirits. To truly know people for who they are on a soul level. To know the truth of how it feels to be a human without any adulterations. 

Has it been challenging? 

You bet! It's been super challenging, at times. I have done everything on the first list (except smoke a cigarette. I haven't done that.) But all the others have been challenges and obstacles that I have overcome. Some more than once. Some still creep in from time to time. Like snacks! Who doesn't love a good ol' cookie or some chips?!

I went to a liquor store today to find some empty boxes. When I walked in, all I saw was colorful flashing signs and clever, artsy labels that were reminiscent of a toy store, or candy shop, but for adults. Promotions and gimmicks like free beer cozies or tee shirts. I am often baffled by the collective consent of our world. "Drink alcohol friends! Everyone does it. Wine is classy!" Numb your pain. Forget your worries. Pretend that your marriage is just fine. What debt? Cool dudes slam back a cold one after work. Let loose. Forget life. Relax a little. Blend with the crowd. Alcohol is just one small example of this insane collective consent that our society calls reality. 

With those empty cardboard boxes, we are once again paring down our material possessions. I have shed my personal stuff twice before almost completely. Once in 2004, at age 21 when I moved to Alberta from Pennsylvania. All I took on the flight was a small carry-on sized suitcase. My mom shipped me some memorabilia a few years later. You know, some photos and such.

Then again in 2011, at age 29, when my partner of 8 years and I separated, I only took with me a car, a bed and pillow, a yoga mat, a bike and some clothes. That's all. Not a nic-nac or painting or fridge magnet. What are they for really? Memories? That's why we were gifted a memory as human beings. To collect and learn and remember the past but live in the present.

Stuff is one more thing that keeps us all weighed down. Energetically, mentally and physically. It's so easy to accumulate things. It's often much tougher to become unattached from them. We sifted (again) through a pile of totes of stuff that we had just sorted through six months ago before we left to travel. So we have decided this will be the final sifting as long as we are a "mobile wellness team". We do not want the invisible energetic tethers to our heap of belongings pulling at us from around the globe. 

There are often many emotions attached to a lot of stuff. So it forced us to feel these emotions, smile and/or cry, and move onward. After 3+ hours of sorting dishes, clothing and various household items (about 3/4 of our total stuff) we both laid down in bed and felt a mountain of totes lighter while drifting away into dreamtime.

We are on day four of a liquid fast of mostly herbal teas (some cacao drinks) and coconut water. Cleansing our insides and our outsides simultaneously feels amazing. Realigning our bodies, minds and spirits after a long journey. And now we begin to prepare ourselves for the next phase of the One World Wellness road tour.

The Cosmic Highway

While on the Yucatan peninsula, we had read a spectacular book titled A Shaman's Tale. It found us in the UFO museum shop in Roswell, New Mexico. This was back in December on our way to the Mexican border. We enjoyed all of the unique stories and the realness of the writing. We laughed and we cried. When we finished the book we both agreed that it would be amazing to meet the author and/or to possibly listen to him speak at an event or workshop in 2015. 

So, three weeks ago, on the night we crossed back into the USA, we emailed the author, Richard L. Alaniz. We knew that he was in the southwest somewhere, but we weren't sure exactly where.  We had lent the book to three other people and the last time, we passed it on just before we departed from Guatemala. We knew we likely wouldn't get it back, but wanted to spread the wonderful messages that the book contained. Richard emailed us back promptly the next morning inviting us to come and visit him at his ranch in New Mexico. It sounded nice, but it was 5 hours in the opposite direction from which we thought we needed to drive. We had already planned a loose itinerary that would take us west to California and then north up the west coast, eventually back to Vancouver Island.

Well, funnily enough, not one person that we contacted through Couchsurfing or any of the venues that we attempted to organize cacao ceremonies at had responded to us. This was not common for us. So we decided instead to go through the western part of Cali through the mountains for a scenic change. We drove from Tucson north toward Phoenix, then took a wrong turn and ended up heading straight for San Diego afterall. What happened here? We pulled over and reevaluated what we were doing. After realizing that we were being crazy for not heading to New Mexico, we contacted Richard and asked him if the invitation was still open, and he said we were welcome to come on down. So now we were 6 hours in the opposite direction. Jeepers! We drove until sunset and enjoyed the mountains and expansive desert terrain in the pink and orange evening glow. We arrived at the ranch and received a warm southern welcome. 

Richard has had such a diverse and interesting life so far, and so telling his story in the form of a book was a natural fit. From martial arts mastery to Hollywood stunts to a degree in psychology. He's also a hair stylist...and a shaman. His Native American roots shine through his silvery braids and his cowboy lifestyle is mirrored in his shiny belt buckles. His musical and artistic skills reflect his connection with nature and all of it's creations. 

We shared a late supper and lots of wonderful conversation late into the first night. Richard seemed as happy to have us there as we were to be there. We felt so at home.

The next morning, after a coffee and some breakfast, we trekked out to the nearby mountains and Richard showed us some beautiful caves where indigenous remains were dated to around roughly 900AD. Stunning. We enjoyed some of his drumming and singing to the spirits. He blessed us and the cave with sage and prayers and we enjoyed a fruit snack, out of the heat of the midday sun. 

Holes just outside the caves which were once used for collecting water and grinding food. 

He told us about his newest project breeding mustangs. He had four of them on the ranch and they were small and sturdy with wavy flowing manes and tails. Truly, living spirits of the wild west. 

We enjoyed an evening meditation lesson of his Balík yoga style which he developed through his knowledge of various martial sciences and yoga techniques combined. It uses the channeling of chi combined with breath work to create a state of focus and mindful being. 

Richard also took us on a plant tour of the desert. He showed us which plants we could eat for survival there. They were actually very tasty. Many varieties of cacti are nutritious (after the spines are removed). There are edible flowers and roots and even wild bananas on a certain variety of yucca. There are also many medicinal herbs growing in the arid desert climate. He cut up a nopal cactus pad and made us some agua de nopal. It was so refreshing in the dry, hot climate.

We shared several more meals with the group, which included his wonderful wife, his comical cousin and her fun friend who were both visiting from out of state. The conversations we had were profound and expansive. Each one seemed to top the previous ones. We said we wished that we could speak freely about these topics everywhere that we go, but that not everyone we spend our time with is as open to such spiritual, esoteric and shamanic topics. 

We stayed for several days and would have loved to stay even longer, but we knew that we needed to move on. We are currently nomadic people on a long journey across many places to connect with many spirits on their own journeys. The chapter in A Shaman's Tale called Spiritual Webbing describes the way that we all come into each other's consciousness for different reasons. I know that we each have something to learn and something to teach in every interaction every day. We just have to open up our heart's intuitions and our mind's eye to realize when these gift exchanges are taking place. 

We have been invited to return to Comanche Creek Ranch in the future. We can hardly wait. What a magical place. Muchas gracias amigos.

Warning: May cause you to love life.

This post is about cultivating a wonderful life, filled with love, meaning and connection.  It ended up being a bit lengthy, but these words are important to me.  The inspiration came to me during a sunshiny, summer chat with a wise elder who said "The grass will always be greener, if you choose to see it that way. Or you can focus on keeping your own grass greener each day." I thought about that statement and it occurred to me that many of us spend much of our time wanting what others have, wanting to be somewhere else or wishing we had a different life. 

YIKES!!!  How did we let ourselves get to this point?! What can we do to learn to love our life as it comes? I have a few ideas I would like to share. From what I have learned so far, a happy life takes a bit of effort and patience and understanding of human nature. By default, we are all the same at the core and we all need the same things to feel good about life. Try focusing on finishing old business and loving what you have. 

Several years ago, I attended a retreat on New Year's Eve. It was there that I first heard of a life-changing tool called Non-Violent Communication (NVC). My first reaction was "haha! I don't need that. I'm the most non-violent person I know!"  Think again. Simple words can do as much damage to the soul as a nuclear bomb.  Over the last few years, I have learned to rely on NVC every day to communicate better with the people around me. It has been a tool that has helped my life flow smoother and has strengthened many relationships with coworkers, family and friends. 

Challenge yourself to become a better communicator. There is no downside. It's free. All it takes is an open heart, an open mind and honesty. 

Here are the simple steps to communicate how you feel and let others (and yourself) know what you need. It can be used to show gratitude also. Very powerful stuff. Ok so here goes. 

Step 1: State the facts of the situation. No extra dramatic flare needed. Facts only. Keep it simple. No name calling or blaming. 

Step 2:  State how you feel about this. DO NOT use the words "you made me feel..." Or "it made me feel...."  You are the only one who made you feel it. Make that connection in your mind. (Feeling words: I FEEL- happy, sad, angry, afraid, excited, uncomfortable, embarrassed, grateful, etc. DO NOT use words that imply fault, such as disappointed, offended, annoyed, irritated etc.)

Step 3: Tell yourself and others what need(s) you have that are/aren't or weren't met in this situation. (Ex: needs for safety, love, peacefulness, quiet, inclusiveness, respect, friendship, community, freedom etc.)

Step 4: If you feel the need, make a kind request to another. A request might be something you want to do for another, or something you would like done for you. 

To get the whole picture, here is an example situation:

Mary made dinner. Joe didn't come home for dinner. Mary is angry. 

They can blame and point fingers and try to guilt each other and create a huge mess that will make their lives miserable...

or use NVC...

Mary: "Joe, I spent two hours cooking us a lovely dinner tonight, and I ate it by myself.  You didn't come home when you usually do for dinner. (Those are the facts.)

I'm feeling sad and angry about it. (That's how she feels.)

I have a need for clear communication and a need for appreciation for the things that I do. I also have a need for quality time with you. (Her needs). 

The next time that you have plans in the evening, would you please tell me ahead of time so that I can plan my time accordingly? I would really appreciate that." (Seems like a kind request to me.)

A key component here is non-attachment to the outcome. The other person(s) involved my not react the way you would like them to, but that is out of your control.  Do your part to speak from your heart and the rest is up to them. You will feel better about life knowing that you did what you could to enrich the situation. 

I was reading a book the other day and a passage jumped off the page. It was a statement from a Native elder. In a nutshell she said, do not carry the dead. Work out your own issues now. Not later, not tomorrow, now. Don't leave it up to someone else to help you like your life more. Do not give away the moments of today to the troubles of yesterday. At the end of the day, you're the only one who will be hurting from those negative thoughts and feelings inside. 

Whew. If that all seems overwhelming, its understandable. It might even been a bit scary while you are learning this new language of communication. Most of us have been communicating from our egos our whole lives. Send your ego (and its fears) on a one-way trip and open your heart. Practice. Practice. Practice. 

Another simple tool that I have been using for a number of years is to acknowledge the things that I am grateful for. It can be done at the dinner table before anyone takes a bite. Take a moment for each family member to say what they are thankful for from their day. 

Alternatively (or in addition), if you have a partner that you get to snuggle up with each night, take a moment to tell each other and the universe what you appreciated today. No partner? Say it out loud anyway! It is amazing how life will shift to the positive side when you begin to realize how fortunate you really are. Pour your energy into nurturing the flowers of life instead of constantly looking for the weeds. 

Lastly, pick one (or all) of these suuuuuper easy things: Smile. Hold a door for someone. Let someone know you're thinking of them. Share some homemade food. Give hugs. Let someone ahead of you in line. Buy a coffee for someone. Offer to lend a hand. Do these things with the intention of spreading good vibes. Have no expectations that you will ever be compensated for your kindness.

Life will love you back and that is reason enough. 

Extra tidbit:

My heart grew a few sizes today after watching this...

http://youtu.be/BOksW_NabEk

Living for love. Loving your life.

One of my passions is helping other people to help themselves. Maybe they're stuck in a quicksand career, in a relationship that just doesn't fit, or regularly finding themselves in a conflict with one person or another. Some folks just feel lost altogether and don't know what to do!

Well, recently, after a move to remote northern Alberta, I was feeling out of sorts. A friend gave me a book, which I enjoyed cover-to-cover, but one simple exercise stood out and it has shifted my life in a big way. I have shared my own version of this idea with a few close pals who needed a boost. I don't think there is a single person out there who's life won't change for the better from this idea:

Choose a quiet place to sit down with a piece of paper and a pen (dig in your junk drawer, you must have these somewhere! :). Make a list of everything that you LOVE. List the things that make your spirit smile, Or make you feel joyful and light-hearted, or laugh like a child again. Write down the things that make you feel like YOU!  Start with the obvious ones, then dig deeper. They can be anything from sunsets to biking, ice cream, butterflies, sports, visiting with pals, walking your dog or giving hugs. I have even been adding more things each week that I forgot that I love! (P.S. make sure you realllllly love these things and that they aren't things your partner loves or even worse, things you are obligated to do!) Some of these things may only be  achievable once or twice a year. Oh, and cover all seasons!

Ok. Once you have your list, post it somewhere that you will look at it every single morning. Now make it your priority to do at least two of these things (more would be amazing!) Every. Single. Day. I have been adding check marks next to the things that I do each day. This way I can see which ones I am doing (usually the easiest to fit in) and can see which of my loves I am still neglecting to gift to myself, and making them happen. 

In a matter of a few days, I felt more like myself again. I felt empowered, uplifted and free. Too many of us put ourselves last every day and eventually, we feel exhausted, grumpy, depleted and generally unhappy...even resentful! None of these things are beneficial to us or our loved ones. 

Make yourself your own priority. We all deserve it. I would love to hear how this idea has helped you in your daily life. After all, you're the only one who knows what you really need to be your most vibrant and wonderful self.  <3